Lately I have been doing a lot of self-reflection and evaluation of this past year. I ask myself what is it that God really wants of me in this last season of my life. Who knows, I may be around another 30 or 35 years, and I continue to wonder what I might accomplish for His glory. But as the days and months roll by, and I stop to think of what I have accomplished for the kingdom, in this year, it seems like it has been so very little.
God has blessed my family in so many ways, and it seems for the most part that I have been on the receiving end. His blessings to my wife and I have truly been overwhelming, and yet they continue to just flow in. I feel so unworthy, and so little in His presence.
Many years ago, I spent a great deal of time in the studies of Watchman Nee, and recently I pulled out some of those old books and looked again at his writings.
Take note of the following statement. “Let us consider man's condition before God. The fact is that the whole world is perishing. From among the perishing ones, God has pulled us out and saved us. The whole world is perishing corporately, but God is saving men one by one, individually. God does not catch all the fish from the sea and then separate the good from the bad, assigning some to salvation while destining others to perdition. All the fish in the sea are perishing. Those which are caught by God are saved; the rest remain in the sea.”
Nee pointed out that God possesses extraordinary wisdom and accomplishes superlative works for His good pleasure according to His desire. He desires to generate a group of people who would become one with Him, sharing the same life, the same living, the same hope and the same work as His, so that He may be glorified through them. Therefore, it matters little to him how good I am, (or think I am), what matters is how I am really living and being for Him.
I must pray myself into God’s message for me. I must pray that His message to the world will be my message in a living way. I have to pray until I get myself into His message, making it my own. Then when I speak, I will speak from His Spirit, and not with self-enlightenment. Whatever I speak will be living, it will be personal, and it will be with living impact.
I would like to challenge you with the same challenge that I have felt from God. Hopefully, I will not put a guilt trip on anyone, but I really do hope you will do some soul searching. How is your spiritual walk with Him? Are you growing spiritually? Are you finding time for Him daily? If you have been slacking off, do you see yourself falling back into old habits and routines of the past? If so, now is the time for reevaluation and new consecration.
Dock Caton 10/10/11
